Kit's #YouAreBRAVE Story

When I was about 11-12 years old I was molested for a period of two years on a weekly basis, sometimes more, by two boys who were very close to our family. The really sad part of the story comes in when I have to admit that I never told ANYONE for more than 40 years. I lived with the pain and guilt all that time because I believed what they told me, that no one would believe me,everyone-especially my parents-liked them better than me, that I was a pig, everything that is said in that situation. I grew up never really liking myself, never having self- confidence, never feeling quite right about my body. I would kneel in the chapel at the high school that I went to and just sob for God to please help me or let me die. When my dad died, my mom had died many years earlier, I went through such a horrible depression that all I wanted to do was die. I had two good friends that I opened up to about the abuse, they talked me into seeing a doctor that put me on meds and a psychologist that helped me work through things. It's 14 years after the depression started and I still have to make myself find a reason to stay alive most days. I still find myself crawling in a closet or a corner crying and screaming at God that I can't do this anymore. I have had my death planned out so many times and have directions for my funeral written up. It must be that God still has a purpose for me here because when it gets to be really too much someone is always there to pull me back. I'm really not doing a very good job of telling about all of this but if letting people know what happened to me all those years ago could help even one girl or one boy find the courage to tell and to get help it will be worth it. I have lost friends because of my depression and the terrible anxiety issues that have gone along with it and also have some physical problems that add to everything. I will be 66 this fall and every day is a battle that I hope I can continue to win.
Thank you so much for this chance to be "brave." I am inspired by the stories you have already told.
Kit Domers